What does marriage mean to you? Depending on who you ask, in what society, in what culture, in what place you ask the answer will most likely be different. For most, the first concepts, ideas, and notions of marriage you get are from your parents. Oversimplifying things a bit, you could say if your parents had a good marriage, then you would be more inclined to get married. Parents had a bad marriage? Well the opposite would be more true.
Bethany and Charles didn’t see great marriages growing up. While the above mentioned generalization was true for HisFI. HerFI still wanted marriage. Is it a boy vs girl thing? Man vs woman? Probably not. Only a reflection of our societies ideas embedded in our lives. HerFI was raised in an environment that heavily promoted marriage for young girls, quite possibly even a requirement.
It’s against all habits to challenge our childhood beliefs. What you see is what is true. believing is seeing. It’s only when you are introduced to the world, meet people with different beliefs, do those childhood understandings begin to change.
Meeting somebody and starting a relationship with them changes the entire recipe though. Now you have to incorporate another human mind into the decision-making. One that will never always agree to everything. For us, we met while being younger. We didn’t have careers, no college degrees. We were nurturing this relationship while trying to finish college.
These can be obstacles to marriage, busyness is the greatest excuse to delaying something. The longer we were together the more our internal beliefs of marriage peeped their heads. Communication is key, we weren’t great at communicating. When you don’t express something through words, you end up finding other ways to share it.
This created some tumultuous times, but luckily we had the busyness to fall back on. The interesting thing about delaying marriage is there is so much self-development that happens in people’s 20’s that the very idea of marriage changes in your mind.
Join us today, as some late 20 something millennial’s with some self-development under their belts, share what marriage means to them and what they think of it now. Hit that play button and find out why we haven’t gotten married yet, even after 6 years.
Topics Covered:
- Our history with our views on marriage
- What we experienced growing up and how that shaped us
- Moving in together before marriage
- The expectation of marriage from friends and family
- Married vs non-married couples
- The children talk
- Our fur babies vs potential human babies
- Paternal/Maternal instincts
- Adoption
Referenced Links:
- Why We Are Not Married After 6 Years
- Emotional Labor
- Podcast 08 – Expectations of Society and the Labels we Apply to Ourselves.
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2 comments
This spoke to me so much! Thank you for speaking so openly about what can sometimes be a difficult conversation.
We are so glad it resonated with you. 🙂 Thank you for your kind feedback. It made our day!